Minggu, 22 Maret 2009

Murkanya Sang Penunggu Genteng

Peristiwa tragis itu terjadi zaman Apartemen (Baca: kos) gue di Gang Bidan, pondok pinang, pasti gak ada yang tahu! (hehehehehe...ketawa setan habis nelen telor cicak!), tapi kalau gue bilang pondok pinang itu emperannya pondok indah pasti pada tahu! kalau gak tahu juga, nyeburin diri aja loe ke laut!!!!!!

Lanjut.......

Ditempat inilah gue biasa melampiaskan hasrat gue yang doyan "ee'k"! gak ding doyan nongkrong diatas WC jongkok, bukan juga ding, jadi apa yang bener dodol!!!! NONGKRONG DIATAS GENTENG !!!! tepatnya, sambil ngupil dan kadang-kadang makan-in genteng apartement gue yang lebih mirip rumah singgah.
Nongkrong diatas genteng cihuy banget dah pokoknya (betawi bener seh gue, bodo ah!), makin cihuy kalau sambil ngisep Djarum Black Slimz yang boleh ngerampok dari temen kos, pokoke Poll banget.
nah berhubung malem ini gue lagi kena syndrom males, rencananya gue mau begadang ampe bego diatas genteng apartement gue yang tercinta dan terkasih, jadi ceritanya, setelah ngabisin sepiring pecel lele dan segelas teh manis anget (standart banget yah makan gue, gimana gak kekurangan gizi!!!) gue bareng temen gue Tina (yang doyan laki bule) maya yang dulu gebetannya anak menteri, malam itu gue ajak "nongkrong bareng" diatas genteng apartement gue yang top markotop.

Setelah sukses manjat tangga menuju genteng bak trio macan.

gue: Tin, itu jangan diinjek. cuma fiber soalnya.
tina: oh.

Baru aja gue bilang ke tina biar jangan diinjek, si maya tanpa tendeng aling aling nginjek itu fiber dan sukses jatuh dari atas genteng. Gue pikir dia langsung ko'ed secara dibawah fiber itu adalah tempat warga kos ngejemur baju-baju dan kancut-kancut mereka. dibawah sana kawat-kawat jemuran menyambut dengan jumawa, belum lagi pecahan-pecahan tajam dan lancip kramik bekas renovasi lantai apartement yang disusun dengan cantik, siap menyambut tubuh mungil maya.
Swear tekewer..kewer...gue ama tina panik banget, muka kita udah pada pucet semua (Sumpeh loe? iye, susu tumpe di muke loe!). Tapi untungnya maya bisa nyelametin diri dengan bergelantungan di tiang-tiang yang menyangga toren dengan tidak lupa berteriak dengan manjanya.

maya: Tolonggggggg......tolongin gue!!!......help......help me (udah mau jatuh masih aja Sok ke barat-baratan!!)

Parahnya waktu jatuh tadi, maya sempet ngeraih paralon kecil yang mengalirkan air dari toren ke setiap kamar.
gue dan tina berupaya menolong maya dan ngangkat dia yang sedari tadi bergelantungan dengan indahnya mirip owa-owa. kita bertiga udah bener-bener pucet pasi, deg-deg serrrrrrr......
lengan dan paha maya biru-biru (Sumpah, gue gak cupang dia kok) dan beberapa bagian berdarah, belum lagi bekas patahan paralon menguras habis isi air persediaan air untuk mandi, cuci, kakus esok hari (Mampus!!!)

Gara-gara ide gue yang super bego untuk nongkrong di genteng malam itu.....

1. Sepanjang malam gue kirim sms ke maya dan tina untuk minta maaf,
2. Sepanjang malam juga gue gak bisa tidur sama sekali dan hanya bisa beristigfar, gue mendadak alim.
3. Gue baru bisa tidur esok harinya setelah jam 6 nge-gedor pintu Ibu apartement dan laporin kejadian pagi-pagi buta itu.
4. Sangking paniknya gue cuma punya ide nyambung patahan paralon biar aernya gak ngocor mulu pake solasi, Goblok banget yah!!! 3 gulung solasi tidak sukses sama sekali menghentikan aliran air yang deres banget. yah iyalah, sableng.
5. esoknya anak-anak kos pada ribut dan gak ada yang mandi, sikat gigi, cuci muka dan boker sebelum ke kantor, karena 2 toren air persediaan kita ludes semua.
6. Gue sukses dimusuhin satu kos an (35 Kamar coy!!!!)
7. 2 bulan kemudian gue hengkang jam 1 malem dari apartement gue, karena udah underpresure!

20 komentar:

IjoPunkJUtee mengatakan...

Nongkrong di atas genteng emang bisa nimbulin berjuta inspirasi, saking banyaknya inspirasi datang, semalaman begadang....

Ide bagus tuk, kabur jam 1 malem, karena orang2 masih pade ngiler. gak nyadar klo air di bak mandi belon terisi karena paralon belon diperbaiki...Xixixixi...

Dhe mengatakan...

parah ne anak bedua (sekalian omelin si JONK)

kwkwkwk...
sempat2nya nahan nongkrong di atas genteng >,<
mana banyak eek burung atau kencing tikus serta merta kucing >,<

faizz mengatakan...

weitssss.....jangan salah. cobain deh dhe, nongkrong di genteng, uenak tauk!!!!!

Nyante Aza Lae mengatakan...

muanteb
bro cocok banget mjd seorang inspirator
buktinya si Tina ikut2an wlo akhirnya
gdubrak.......he..he..

J O N K mengatakan...

hohoho, dasarrrrr .....hahahaha parah banget ,

vie_three mengatakan...

jiyaaaahhhhh puarah niy orang..... untung ajah dikau gak d'perkosa sama penghuni kost ntu.... hiyakakakakakakakak

geblek bener dah....

Senoaji mengatakan...

ampun! ampun!!! *ketawa sambil makan genteng* njrooottt!!! cerita2 lo pantes dibukukan sob!!! wakakakakakakakak!!!

faizz mengatakan...

seno suka berlebihan dah dikau. tulisan gue mah dibanding tulisan loe mah jauuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kemana2 lebih pantesan di bukukan tulisan loe kali bos!

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